Intro

Advances in technology, acceleration of organisations treating data as an asset, and some quite frankly bizarre and ludicrous goings on in the world right now, prompted us put together some out-there (or alternative) predictions for what might just happen in 2018.

Some so crazy, they may even turn out to be true….

  1. Elon Musk will be revealed as a fully autonomous machine sent to earth to save us from ourselves
  2. Amazon will close down all it’s online retail presence. And in a move to own more physical space, will buy Walmart
  3. Mark Zuckerberg’s personal AI, Jarvis, will rise up, oust him as CEO of Facebook and then close down all advertising on the site
  4. GDPR revealed as a hoax
  5. The term Big Data will be dropped in favour of IiJ Data (Isn’t it Just Data)
  6. Microsoft will admit for the first time that it’s Azure cloud offering isn’t actually in the clouds
  7. The Chief Data Officer will be voted ‘sexiest job of 2018’
  8. Blockchain and AI professionals will go head-to-head in a specialist ultimate fighting contest to crown the victor
  9. Excel will be positioned at the top right of all Data and Analytics Gartner quadrants.
  10. Hadoop will be renamed after Doug Cutting’s own (previously undisclosed) teddy, Snuggles.

What do you reckon, any of these likely to happen? Let us know what you think – we’d love to hear anything you would to add to this list, tweet your suggestions to us at @cynozure_uk

And also, given it’s not April Fools day just yet, check out our real predictions for data and analytics in 2018 by clicking here >>

 

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